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Happy thoughts.

I don't know why, but I'm so happy. (: 

Out with some usuals yesterday. A full day of fun and sharing of thoughts here and there. A simple yet pleasant night slacking at the top of t1. I haven't relaxed like that for so long. (: Thinking back, it's just a normal day. But why am i feeling so happy? :D

Haha I think I'm going crazy. Well, I wasted another day today, ): Gonna meet up with the girls tomorrow and hopefully get some studying done. All ss facts have to be in my mind by sunday night! 

Alright, byebyebyebyebye. 

*Best : Be strong girl, no matter what happens, all your friends ( including me ) will be here for you. (: I really hope to see you smile like before sooooooooooon! *inserts hearts*

The fight against Os.

I've been neglecting this place for around two weeks. But the thing is, I haven't been really studying ): Every single time before an exam, I don't feel a thing & just go in half-prepared. When I come out of the exam hall, I feel kind of regretful. But I don't have the freaking motivation to do well for the next paper. Ahh what is this man -.- Next paper is on monday. I've wasted wednesday already, and I'm going out today( thurs, 1243pm! ). So.. I shall start studying on friday! Bye readers, I'm sure to come back after Os. 9 more days, wait for me baby!

I think I study JJ more than I study my subjects. (:

I feel a need to blog.

This year passed real fast, even faster than 2009, which was already super fast. I don't know if it's due to the O levels or what. At first it was February, and after what seems like a month, it was August. Now, it's October already. Omg, time flies. 4/7's been playing games in class these days. I think it's a pity that we are only playing them now, because we have no more chances to play it anymore :( Today's our last. It's when almost the whole class' girls sit down, regardless of who closer to who, playing lame games like 20cents & polarbear. For a moment, I forgot about exams. I was happy, really. I don't know I'm feeling so emotional about it. I mean, it's kind of.. sad right? At the beginning when I came into 3/7, I don't really like this class. But I realised that as we all grow up, the not so nice things will become nicer. Everything seems less fake, everything seems so genuinely true. Okay, what am I talking about.

I'm starting to cherish times spent with 4/7 now. Today was a short 1 and a half hours in the hall. & yet it managed to hit something into me. I guess, that's how impactful it is (: O levels are just next week, with English starting as the main paper. I really really hope that every single person in 4/7 will do well. We will all go up on stage together okay! (:

Today's science practical kind of sucked. My axis was wrong, but the shape of my graph was correct. How weird. & for chemistry I didn't make the link that zinc was a reducing agent despite knowing that iron (III) turned into iron(II). & I handed up an orange coloured exam script because I spilled my solution. It was.. epic. They said ' Shake thoroughly. ' & I did. In the end the stopper flew out and the next thing I knew, the chemical was all over my table. :( Well, it's already over. No point crying over spilt milk. I've to work doubly hard for my science papers.

I've been getting headaches, stomachaches and other achings frequently. & I'm scared. Is it stress, or is there really something that is happening to my body? Mom asked me to go for a checkup. But I don't want :( Please, please, nothing happen please. :(

Oh yeah, happy belated birthday 21st Oct's babies ( Waikiat, Valarie & Stefanie )
Happy birthday to Bennett & my stupid tutor ( 22nd Oct ) (:

I'm sick :( I can't concentrate on studying. I spend most of my time in bed. I get headaches. I feel like vomitting but nothing comes out. & the thought that O levels is only 9 days away scares me. It's only 9 days away and i cant get anything done wtf.

Urgh i hate myself.

I feel like screaming everything out. Previously i used to sing when i'm undergoing stress. Now I can't even sing because of my stupid cough which is killing me. Zzzzzz.

In a few more minutes time, it will be 10 more days to O level. Faster over, faster over. So little time I've got, but so many things I've to do. Ahh. Study, study, study. Regretted going to school today. Because most lessons were doing of your own things. I rather sleep later at home then study all the way. So, not going school tomorrow, meeting people at 139 to eat then studyyyyyyyyyyy! Well, hope I'll do some work. 

Headaches have been haunting me nowadays. I've been relying on medicated oil to keep myself conscious. The feeling sucks :( Mom told me not to do so anymore, because it's not good. But I feel so uncomfortable if I dont use it! :( Gah. I wanted to chiong amaths yesterday at home. Thanks to slight fever, headaches & sore throat, I wasted a day. Damn. Every day is so important to me nowwwwwww!

Things haven't been going smoothly recently. Deaths are pretty common recently too. Just received a bad news from family. I hope, i hope, everything will be fine. Seeing my grandma and mom so sad makes me feel upset too. I don't want to see them cry, and i have to be strong in order to catch them fall. Bad things keep coming one by one. Honestly, this year's one of the worst years ever. Sometimes in buses, when I look at small kids, I envy them so much. At their age, they don't really have much to worry about except studying. I miss that feeling, the feeling of not having to worry about anything. Everything is laid out for you nicely. How awesome is that life?

Well, life goes on. I pray, & please pray for me, that everything turns out well. Please, please..

Hey there, a short update since i'm using my sister's laptop.

Skipped school on tuesday and wednesday. Mr chan called my mom to tell her that physics on tuesday was productive, and i missed that lesson. & then i started to think, when is physics productive? ._. Hmm.

Yesterday met up with some people to study. I realise, i do very little work when i'm out. But when i'm at home, i dont even study -.- Today i wanted to try studying on my own at home. Headaches killed me. My head doesnt feel like my head. So, i ended up sleeping for the whole day. & now, i feel so sick. Ahh, wasted one day. I could have finished revising for my amaths today. :( I cancelled tuition too. I just hate headaches, urgh.

It's 8 more days to science o level practical, less than 2 weeks to the main papers. If you ask me now if i've confidence of making it, honestly speaking, i don't. Yes, i'm studying. But not as much. Not as much as others, not as much for me to overcome this battle. I just hope i'll have the motivation to study. Because without that motivation, i can't accomplish anything at all.

Alright, update soon. Byebye.

The last lap.

I think I'm having exam stress -.- I mean, everyone is undergoing it, especially at this time, when o levels starts 2 weeks later. Oh-my-gosh. The thought of it makes me feel so scared. To be honest, I'm afraid of its arrival. But on the contrary, I can't wait for it to be over. How contradicting :(

Every morning i wake up, i think about o levels. Every night i sleep, i dream about exams. Gawd, i want to escape from this nightmare! Hmm, nowadays there's so little people online on my msn list, so little people active on facebook. That made me stop and think if i'm lagging behind. It made me think if i'm the only one who's still feeling so indifferent towards o levels. O levels spell s-i-a-n. :( 

& yes, there's school tomorrow. I'll go to school tomorrow and hopefully, tomorrow's lessons will be effective. And I'm gonna skip school on tuesday and wednesday, and study on my own these two days. Because most likely, those two days of lessons will be ineffective. Hmm.

Alright, off to bed now, goodnight world.

' Only when we develop a habit to seek the light can wisdom come our way. '

L1R4 - 18.

L1R5 - 24. 

What shitty results I've got -.- 

Enough of prelims, shall update a little on what's happening. School's kind of pointless recently. We either have relief periods or lessons full of crap. For example, today. I didn't even want to go to school. But i still went for english. We had 6 periods of school today, but 4 of them were relief periods. Luckily, mdm kamisah did come. Or else I'll be going school for nothing.

I skipped school on wednesday. I heard that 12 people didn't come. Like, wow. I think many people are gonna create their own study breaks since this stupid school doesn't have it. But really, not going to school to study but study at home/ outside is far more effective. In school, the only thing i feel like doing is sleep. When I come home, I'm too tired to do anything, I go and sleep again. .____.

Alright, I have to go out now, byebye.

I feel like giving up.

I feel so defeated. Results suck. Fuck O levels. It's ruining my life. I feel so tired, so tired. It's 3 weeks to O levels. People say when they get bad results, they will gain motivation and work even harder for the next paper. But why isn't this happening on me? I feel even more shag, even more unmotivated. Looking at all my friends around me improving in their studies make me feel super proud of them. But on the other hand, it makes me think if I'm not doing enough, if I'm not putting enough effort into my studies to make dreams come through. I'm not asking for really great grades. I'm just looking for results that I'm satisfied with. Honestly speaking, I didn't put in my 100 percent for this prelim. Since so, why am i still so sad about my results? Is it because I've higher expectations of myself after prep exams? Urgh. After all this ranting, i know life still goes on. I can't do anything about it, except to work hard, can i?

Happy birthday, Destin(29 Sept) & Hehan(2nd Oct). (:

Bugis yesterday with the people above to celebrate destin's & hehan's birthday. Met the girls + jordan chewei darrell joel @ mrt platform first before going over to bugis. It's been long since all of us had a gathering like this. I do miss the times, that homely feeling together with them. They are the ones who made my secondary school life memorable. But, why does it feel so different now? A few more months together, and then we'll all go separate ways. I really really cherish every moment with them now.

We shopped a while for their presents. Me & Sofia's legs were hurting, and we were the two who were not wearing heels! Only shopped for a little while, but we felt so tired. I guess, too long never go shopping already! Same old saying ' After O levels. ' :( Met up with the rest of the guys after that, then headed for dinner. We had steamboat, 18 per person, so not worth it at all ._. Iluma after dinner for a mini photo taking and such. Love the atmosphere there (: Arcade after that, all of us were so into the coin dozer which kept sucking our money! Left the guys at 1030 & cabbed home with sophia, because they were tonning. Cab fare came up to 20 bucks, due to city charge and booking fare. I'm broke now :(

Shall post up some photos, rest of them @ fb!

Sweet 16? Bullshit.

Exams and exams. So much for sweet 16.

Hi people, I'm back! Prelims haven't ended, but i guess i deserve a break right now (: 

Prelim papers are quite challenging. I guess, this is the only exam which impacts most of us. It's the exam which wakes us up, and let us finally understand that this is r-e-a-l-i-t-y. It's less than a month to O levels. But i feel so drained of energy already. How will i be able to persevere until the end of Os? Goshhhhh. No point complaining. Still got to do my best. 

Talking about prelims, surprisingly, amaths didn't drain me of my energy. It was emaths which drained my energy instead. Weird. Hmm, english was tough. People say first question of compre is the must-get-mark question, the question that gives you a boost of confidence. But the first question stunned and demoralized me :( Ahh. I'll fail english this time round, because my paper 1 is like shit too ._.

Science this time was alright. Manageable, but more challenging than usual. Please, give me my A1 :( 

Really got no life recently. My life has been revolving around books and cards. Lol. 

Seriously, I can't wait for Os to end. I've so much to do :( Dramas, kbox, shopping, blah. 3 MORE WEEKS. 

I took the cab to school today.

*points up* Yes, first time me having to pay to go school! Omg. I think it's damn not worth it at all -.-

Alright, i won't be blogging so often anymore. Prelims next week, I shall force myself to study. I hope I don't tire myself out. Off to do work.

I'll be back, after prelim ends :)

HIATUS.

First day of school.

Hi readers.

I didn't have the time to blog yesterday, sorry! I shall blog about everything today. First day of school today, it was T-I-R-I-N-G. That's all i could say. I'm happy to see friends once again, but some sights still hurt as much as before. The one week holiday didn't help. :( Whatever, I shall concentrate on studies now. Came home without having lunch straight after school for tuition but tutor actually forgotten about tuition -.- Nevermind, shall do my own revision later.

Anw, Sofia got me a keychain as a souvenir from vietnam. Thank you sofia! Now, all 4 of us have each a keychain with our names on it and the super cute bee! Sofia, i love the gift! ^^ She got me chewing gum to chew too, good mouth exercise. Hahaha.

Got back amaths paper 2 today. Mrs see is slow. 50/100. Just nice, yay. Though it's not good, I'm satisfied. Because I think I didn't put in my best effort for this paper, and a pass is enough for me. I thought I would fail actually. Plus, I'm not exactly sure about differentiation and integration before the paper. Now I think I can understand the chapters more because of the 5 amaths papers done during the holiday, I hope to do well for prelims, then Os :)

Today i was trying out tarot reading using my phone. & there was one part that stated ' The conjunction of the card of Death and the Star often indicates an emotional crisis, and it goes without saying that this could be making you feel very downbeat today. ' It's stupid to rely on horoscope to live, but i kind of believe in it, because every single time i read it, it's relevant to my life. & today's no exception. 

Yesterday, I went studying at 139 again with Nicole. I met her a total of 4 times during sept holiday! & this morning i saw her again because I was early and she was late, hahaha. Fate ^^ I guess I'll meeting her again soon! I love studying with this girl of mine, because she's really awesomeeeeeeee. :)

We were bored hahaha.

I need my bed badly. I'll blog tomorrow!

Bend, don't break.

Another random day today. Out with nicole to study in the morning from 10 to around 430. Can you believe it, i actually bothered to set my alarm and wake up early just to study. STUDY. Yes, study. I didn't do many questions, but i really sat down and worked on those questions that I'll just skip when I'm practicing at home alright. & I realised, I can do those questions. Why did i even skip them when i'm at home. Lol.

I'm really tired now. But I'm waiting for my sister to come home. She'll probably reach home @ about 12 plus 1. I'm such a nice sister, haha. Meeting those girls at tmart tomorrow and nicole on sunday again. :) & I think.. I won't be able to finish my homework. I guess I've been focusing on amaths so much that i actually forgot about the rest. For example, english. & I haven't took out time to really write a compo :( Nooooooo, I hope I'll be able to do one soon, and pass english for both prelim and O level.

The thought of O levels approaching less than 50 days scare me. Really, if we calculate the amount of time given to study each subject, it isn't sufficient at all. It was 100 days, then 70 days. Now, less than 50 days. Time flies, & I know that I've to buck up. But I'm not doing anything. I'm still the same, stoning. Ahh. When can i really wake up.

' I want to be remembered as the one who always smiles even when her heart is broken, and the one who would always brighten up your day even when she couldn't brighten up her own. '

The beautiful thing about memories is that they are yours.

I've been thinking a lot lately. I didn't want to think. But memories just naturally came to my mind when i was using tumblr, reading quotes. It's amazing, isn't it? There isn't any names mentioned but naturally people surface your mind as you read quotes. Well, life goes on. I shall be realistic and brave enough to prove to you that i'm equally happy without you.

Rotted at home for the whole day today. Tuition from 1230 to 2. At least tutor is awake today, because he's flying to vietnam straight away after tuition today. So.. learnt quite a lot, yayness. I feel a little hope for my amaths. In the meantime.. i forgot everything about science :( Ahh, sucks to be me.

I tried to do work in the afternoon. About half and hour passed, can't resist but to walk around the house searching for food. Found chips, stayed on the sofa for one hour or so watching tv. Then sat to do work for 15 mins. Cannot tahan the boredom, so i went to lie on my bed with music! Then after that i woke up again and forced myself to do some work. But soon it was 7, which meant dinner time. Then.. i watched tv all the way till 10, and came online. LOL. The point is, i can't study at home.

Supposed to meet jocelyn tomorrow to study. But she can't make it last minute, so i'm meeting nicole again tomorrow! Talking to this girl now in msn. She's stupid yet cute, hehehe. :) Alright, i shall keep her company now before she kills me. Byebye to whoever reading this ^^

' I guess i just have to accept that you aren't the person i once knew. And that we don't have the same friendship we once shared. '

Back from studying with nicole. I'm so tired now. Quite a productive day, i've finished 2 amaths papers! Good accomplishment for me. Got to work hard for the rest of the days. I actually don't blame teachers giving homework, because it gives me more motivation to study. When i finish one paper, i feel so awesome. :)

Next date with nicole, saturday :) I'm going to meet her for 3 times this september holiday hahaha.

Hmm, it seems that tired is always being associated with sadness. When i'm tired, naturally all the negative things come to my mind. What's wrong with me. I've already said i don't care. But deep down, i know i still do. It's getting on my nerves, urgh. Whatever, going to bed soon, gonna sleep away my troubles. Byebye.

There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make.

I'm back from tmart. I think i'm not that productive today :( Stayed there all the way from 2 till 9. Played cards half the time, lol. I hope tomorrow's studying with nicole will be okay. Nicole, my future is in your hands! HAHAHA. I shall clarify all my doubts for amaths with her tomorrow. :) Speaking of this, I'm so excited to meet her tomorrow, hehehehe.

P.S/ Meeting Jocelyn on friday! ^^
P.SS/ I miss fiona and sofia ttm :(
P.SSS/ I have 103 views for this blog today but only 26 uniques. ( How many stalkers are there, LOL. )

Silence is a girl's loudest cry.

Hi earthlings.

Yesyesyes, i met up with nicole today. One word, awesome :) It was just a simple lunch, a few hours spent talking & taking photos, but i enjoyed every single second i spent with her. Once again, thanks so much girl, for your listening ear and understanding. I love you very much! ♥ 


Haha, we met at around 11 at my block, and headed to ehub for lunch at fish&co. Then slacked till around 2 plus, then headed over to her house :) I miss everything there man. Hahahaha. Webcammed with her friend and i made a new friend today! Hahah, thanks to my friendliness. Feel so proud of myself, tsk. Our next date will be on wednesday, studyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! :)


Alright, photos time :)

Last 4 photos were taken the previous time i met her ♥