Happy birthday darrell & eugene!

Will blog about today after i've got the photos. :)

I love the mv. :)

It’s those moments when you drive around in a car full of people you love around a town too small for you. Where you gasp for breath between each laugh. It’s those moments where you get high off just breathing in so deep, you feel your lungs getting cold. For a second, that split second, you don’t care. You don’t care about school, about parents, about money, about rules, or broken hearts. Who you care about are the people sitting next to you. Yeah, the ones who make you feel invincible, even at your weakest points.


(via never-inwonderland)

Prep started today. I think i wrote out of point for english. & i lost 4 marks for maths. OMG. Ok i shall just aim for 76/80. Though its kinda impossible. Ss tomorrow, i haven't started studying. & Srilanka's not coming out, i can't make it for the rest of the topics. :(

I wish i had 2 hearts.

When one is broken, at least there's another one.

School was fine, i guess? Kelly keeps ' turning me on. ' HAHAHA.

Sophia is getting crazier and crazier by the day.

Sofia is as blur as ever.

Fiona is smiling more and more :)

Yvonne's laughter is still as funny as usual. ^^

I should really start to sit down and concentrate on my studies.

No more thinking.

No more tumblr.

No more facebook.

No more blogger.

No more drama.

No more msn.

It's only 3 days to prep, but i still don't have the motivation to start studying.

I hate how you always manage to ruin my mood just by doing something small.

I hate how you are always able to take off that happy mask from my face.

My mind says ' You no longer care about him. You shouldn't be feeling so emotional over someone like him. '

& then my heart says ' you do care, stupid. '

& straight after that, a series of  ' why ' questions fall upon me. & what can i do? I can just laugh, hoping that it'll lessen the hurt.

You're such a jerk.

Same old routine.

THERE'S SCHOOL TOMORROW. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :(

Laughter.

I really enjoyed my time today with my girls.

Sakae buffet! Laugh like mad :)

So this fatass over here thinks that he can sing and write the cheer song better than JJ Lin.
Hey fatass, don't make me puke. Your singing, can't make it. Your lyrics, can't make it. & obviously your looks.
At least JJ's song was catchy. Yours? Omg. No words can describe how disgusting it was.
& i think you are the one who doesn't know the difference between a cheer and a song.
JJ's version was supposed to be a cheer song. & what's yours? Don't sound like cheer, don't sound like song. So now, DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CHEER AND A SONG?
You want to challenge JJ? Come on. Come up with better songs. Don't gain attention through this way.
I don't even have to listen to your cheer/ song. I don't even feel like listening to it when i saw your FAT FACE.
& you dare say that your version is better than JJ's? I admire you for your bravery. But i still think you suck.
& wtf, you said that you are cute? Totally speechless.
& yes, you should cut down on burgers.

I LOLED AT ALL THE COMMENTS. Shall post some over here.

19Master83 : da hell..only a cheer and u sweat that much...make a song maybe you can be the same size with JJ...and wtf...that "cheer" is so grammatically incorrect in many, many ways...give in your best flight???? omg..dun mock people when ur own version sucks per se...his toilet, i think, bigger than your room wor..


toto4d123 : wow talent ! macdonalds kfc and burgerking should have signed you for commercial.


TMuch4 : your lyric .. cant make it.
your cheer .. cant make it.
your look.. i don't have to tell you, you should know yourself.
any chance in music related career .. you can try it out .. but i don't think anyone will sign you. 


Screw you, fatass. Your youtube ign : IAmNotFatdotNet. MAKES ME LMAO.

I PASSED MY 2.4. WOOHOO. 


Thank you sophia :) ( See your name is in bold. ) ^^

Today's weather is such a killer. I think i ran alot today. I missed the normal bus 3, so i ran all the way from the bus 3 bus stop to school, but i was still late. Then ran another 3 rounds around the parade square. I guess they are warm ups for napfa. & then i passed! What's more i was wearing the number 1 tag. When people encouraged me to run and said dont xiasuay the number one tag. I was like ' Number one from the back la. ' HAHAHA. :)

Don't feel tired, but my legs are jelly like now. & my shoes are dirty, damn. It's only monday! :( Shall go and clean up some mud later. Anyway, i cancelled tuition, happy happy! :)

Plus, sony ericsson's batteries can really last long. In the morning i thought i charged my phone but when i took it out i realised it's not charged at all. & i was late already so i took only what i had. So i went to school with 20 percent battery. I listened to music on the way to school and was texting on the way home. Now it's still 20 percent. HAHAHA. I think sony ericsson's batteries are damn powerful. :)

Ok anyway, i dreamt of western stall opening last night but it didn't open today! Dreams are always opposite of reality. :(

& this is so hao ting omg!

I decided to out with my mama today to see if i can be happier. So yeah, went out to walk walk, shopping. I guess mom could sense the unhappiness within me, so she started to ask me how was school. I tried my best to tell her everything's fine. I wondered how she will react if i told her the truth though. I really felt better after going out. I have no idea why, just.. i realise i don't think of it as often anymore. & that's good.. :)

Currently talking to lixuan on msn now. As usual, it's so nice talking to her. We can talk about anything under the sun! Really, haha. :) It feels so good when you know there's someone who thinks exactly like you and in similar situations. Thanks for your listening ear, girl. :) I love you! 

I've been wasting my weekends for weeks already. It's 99 days to the start of Olevels. I should start studying right now. :( 

Happiness is a direction, not a place.

Gosh, i feel so tired now. I came home straight after school today. It's been long since i came home so early, at around 230 omg. Skipped lunch, and i had to lie to grandma that i've eaten already, or else she will have to sacrifice her nap time to cook for me. So yeah, i had to eat at a normal speed during dinner too, so that i don't spill out anything. Because my mama will scream when she knows i didn't have lunch, lol.

Since i came home extra early, i decided to go and take a nap, since i'm worn out already. I laid on the bed for 2 hours, but still can't get to sleep. Thoughts were filling my mind, and they can't seem to get away. The more i want them to get away, the more vivid they get in my mind. Urgh, it's really irritating. So i got up and continued to waste my time away. Hmmm.

I don't feel like doing anything. I just want to sit down in my sofa over here with music, tumblr, facebook. That's all. If i can, i hope i can stop the time now. I want this moment to stay, forever.

How's life? I would say that my life has been like a roller coaster. Sometimes i'm so happy that i laugh so loudly even in school, such a boring place. Sometimes, things crash down unknowingly, and i get crashed down as well. Life is just so unpredictable. 

If death wasn't painful, i might have chosen it.

“Sometimes I feel extremely disconnected. Like I don’t fit in this world. I feel like I was born at the wrong time and I just don’t belong.”

I have no idea what got into me today.

Sorry to those whom i gave a cold shoulder to.

Sorry to those who i rolled my eyes at.

Sorry to those who got ignored.

Sorry to those who wanted me to go back to normal but i kind of failed and disappointed you guys.

I'm sorry. Give me time. Yes, time.

4/7 class cheer. Credits to Weilin.

I'm holding back.

I broke down today. 

When the tears streamed down my face, i've nothing to say. After bathing, i realised i've been such a useless fool all this while. The ' fool ' i used on jordan, should be used on me, myself. I feel dumb. I'm just someone who thinks that i mean something in all their hearts, but in actual fact, no. I'm just a clown, an entertainer, someone who is so crazy and stupid to laugh at every single thing. But, think. Out of all the laughter, how many are real? Even i'm not sure of that. 

Things didn't turn well in school just now. Came back and conferenced with sophia and yvonne. Ok things are back to normal, i guess? So yeah, wasn't in a really good mood because of incident 1 and incident 2. I thought i could find some peace at home. But in the end, i argued with my sister. Ahma came back home, scolded me to have my shower. ( Because i talked on the phone once i got home. ) For that one moment, i self-pitied myself. Yeah, that's really sad. For yourself to pity yourself, can you imagine how pathetic you are? Yep, i'm such a dumbass, if you are thinking so.

School work has been piling up as well. English lessons are stressful for me, because i suck at english. What hurts most is that friends around are doing well, and there's no one beside you to encourage you. No matter how well i do, no one will be there to push me on. & that's when i start to think no one ever cares about all the effort i put in. What the hell am i living for? Parents will say ' for your future. if you work harder now your future will be brighter. ' But did they ever think that what we children want is a happy life, and not one which has all the achievements but no happiness. If there's no happiness, all the achievements won't be real achievements at all. But if there's happiness, the happiness is able to cover all the achievements. 

' Maybe i'm too oblivious to the things going on around me, that i don't realise i'm hurting as much as i'm. '

To think that i was so happy during lunch today. It's okay, shit happens. I'll overcome this, watch me.

Hold me. I just want to be held.

Laughing is my soul.

Haiiiii. ^^

I survived school, thank god. 3 periods of maths was boring boring boring. Chinese had practice for listening compre, i tried so hard not to fall asleep. Geog was copy copy copy. -.- What a boring life i haveeeee.

Anyway, I'm having I-N-S-O-M-N-I-A-! Trying so hard not to fall asleep in the day, but when it comes to sleeping time, i take so long to fall asleep. Ahhhh, and that really sucks. Then the next day, the same things happen. It's so sian. SO SIAN. :(

I dreamt of JJ last night. I dreamt that i was at his concert, and at the first row! & then i pulled best along with me too and we were screaming like mad women. LOL. Hmm, i wonder if that day comes. I guess my mom doesn't allow me to go to his concert too :( Haha, but it doesn't hurt just thinking about it, especially when you giggle to yourself when you think about it. ^^ JJ FTW!

Haha okay, i've been really obsessed with JJ. Now i'm going to continue watching his videos. Ok byebye!

Though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers.

Surprisingly, school was fine today. I paid full attention in literature class, first time! Feel so proud of myself :) Maths passed real quickly today, i guess it's due to the change of seats. I learned, i laughed. How great. ^^ Cio performed for assembly performance. As i looked at them playing, some memories just flashed through my mind, somehow i miss cca. I miss the juniors, the conductors, the teachers, & of course, my instrument. Ahh, how tuesdays & fridays used to be the days i hanged out with cca people, taking bus home with all of them, laughing non-stop. :) I want to meet all of them soon :(

Haha. Whitesands for lunch after school, then back home soon. Been really tired, lack of sleep. But when i sleep at night, it takes me a little while to go into the sleepy mood. Like you know.. too high to sleep. LOL. But the problem is i haven't been high before that. So yeah, that's pretty weird. Hmm.

Okay anyway i just saw sebrina's status on facebook : ' some people think it is so cool to attract attention in school by shouting and blowing some toys that makes sounds like cows, but actually, the noises they create are just like them, cows. ' I agree so much with her, HAHAHAHA. :)


& there's english tomorrow, nooooooo :( 

Windmill

Sophia & I went crazy over that windmill today. Haha, ok tuition time, baibai :)

GOODNIGHT BLOGGER. :)

Let me hear you call my name.

Okkkk, hi!

I've been watching JJ on youtube recently, zihighing and laughing to myself during midnight. Haha! The bad thing is that i've to laugh silently so that i don't wake my family up. Hehe, JJ. Words can't describe how much i love him! :) I dreamt of him yesterday. He took the same bus with me when i'm going to school haha! The thing is he talked to me omgomgomg. & then i asked him for his number and then he texted me siahhhh! LOL. Ok weird dream, that will never happen. But it doesn't hurt just thinking about it right! Hehe. Today while i was doing my homework i daydreamt about him too. I dreamt about me singing ' xiao jiu wo ' with him! & he held my hand HAHAHA. :) LOL. I think i'm going crazy already. & i'm actually laughing while typing this! Hehehehehe. Happy me.

Ok, back to serious stuff. I've so much homework to complete because there are still the old ones & the pile of homework is stacking up. I'm finally done with literature holiday assignment, lol. I did oral with mdm kamisah on friday. She said my reading was okay, but my picture & conversation was :/ Ahh. & we talked about my summary too. Because i only got 5/25 for the latest one. Hmm. Pretty demoralising when i saw it. I guess that was the reason why i was a little down yesterday. Yup, i didn't feel as happy & i didn't know the reason why. Prep's starting on the 29th july according to mrs see. I'm not even prepared for it. There's no time to relax, no time to play anymore. Straight after preps, it'll be prelims, & then o'levels. Omg. I dare not think about it. Every single time i think about it, the more stressful i get. I need motivation. Urgh. :( 

Whatever, shall not think so much now. Shall go watch more of JJ's videos because it never fails to lift up my spirits. :)

JJ @ MTV LIVE 1/5

JJ's version of ' Waiting for you ' is awesome ttfm! :D

Haiiiiiiiiiiiiii. 

I've too much things on my mind, i don't know where to begin. 

So.. i shall not blog about anything today.

No, i'm not angry. Or maybe, i'm trying not to be. I'm just.. disappointed?

Do you know the feeling of wanting to vent your emotions on your blog but you know you can't or else things will get worse?

Amos 16th.

Say no more.

Hai there.

School was fine today, how rare. I forgot what lessons i had, but i know it was pretty slack, and i was struggling not to fall asleep during some lessons, esp maths. Hmmm.

There are two tests tomorrow. Both sciences, omg. Actually there was still another geog test, but luckily it was postponed to next week, not because of the two tests we are having tomorrow, but because some people have oral tomorrow. I swear i was pretty pissed when she said ' Do you think i care? ' -.-

Okay i have nothing to blog about alr. Next post will be about pictures taken during amos birthday. :)

It's the state of heart that matters.

Hello readers.

Screwed up my oral. Was really really nervous before it. Stomach ached like nobody's business. I was so afraid, i think i didn't do well for the reading too. & the question they gave us was such a small topic, nothing to elaborate! Okk, i got prompted 3 times. & the examiner didn't ask me if i have anything to add on. & it's really scary to stare right into their faces. They look at me as if i haven't made any sense out of my words at all -.-

Ok enough about oral. I'm glad that it's over. Listening compre, the last component for chinese Os. Then the results will be out! Omg. Well, what's done is done. No point crying over spilled milk! LOL. Kk inside joke.

Only slept for 4 hours yesterday, feel so tired & shag now. Shall go pack my bag & go to bed!

Sorry lit and maths, i've no energy to touch you today. :(

Jessietanjiaqi

I miss this dumbdumb best of mine to the ultra maxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx! :(

Hopefully, i can go for the celebration tomorrow.
Hopefully, i can attend JJ's grand opening of SMUGE. ( stupid geog lessons. )
Hopefully, i will be able to concentrate on studying later.

Hopefully.

A race against time.

Every now and then, we will have something that will constantly haunt us. & it gets so irritating. Every morning you wake up, you think of that something. You want to play, but you just can't do so wholeheartedly. It's getting on your nerves, and you totally have no idea how to get that thought out of your mind. Irritating, isn't it? A race against time, the Olevels.

I know, everyone will have to experience this in their lives. In the past, I have the thinking ' Aiya O's only, very easy one la. ' Now i realise, it's not that easy afterall, because of the lack of motivation. When i force myself to sit down to study, my mind's elsewhere. It can be anywhere, just not my books. & that sucks. You tell yourself you use the laptop just for half and hour, so that you'll feel less distracted after that & you go back to your books. But the next thing you know, 2 hours passed. -.-

That's the kind of life i'm leading now. I get tired easily. Tired, without doing anything. Ironic, isn't it? Since 2010, most of my lengthy posts are talking about how irritated i'm over studies. It shows how much my life is revolving around it now.

I just want Os to be over. Now.

Random photos.

Shit happens.

When everyone have different point of views, what do we say?

Damn tired today, so i slept during maths. Chinese was okay, trying my best not to fall asleep because of chinese oral next week. English passed very quickly today because we did group work! Geography lesson after school. It was supposed to be 2 and a half hours, but it only lasted for one and a half hour! Hehehehe. Happy happy. Learnt alot about food today. It seems that nothing can be eaten in this world -.- Nuggets, sausage, potato, soya bean, tomatoes, cabbage. I feel like i've been destroying my own health for the last 15 years of my life.

But i think, i will still continue to destroy it.

Bend, don't break.

Hi there. Just ended tuition. :')

Hmm, nothing much. Just busy everyday studying. Yeah, really have to buck up. :( Lessons this few days were quite enriching, i learnt quite alot. I think the chinese oral thing helped. At first i was a little afraid, now that i've tried, i'm a little more confident. :') Just hope i'll do well next week, 6th july, bless me. :') After oral & listening compre, i will dump chinese away for a short while. Hopefully i don't have to retake. But, most probably need. :( Ahh.

I'm a little worried about my english. Really, i hate that my english is so suckish. & sometimes i feel so stressed up during english lessons, being afraid to speak up. Even if i got the answer right, there'll be something telling me that i'm wrong. I hate english lessons. But yesterday remedial was great, i guess. Only a short 30 mins remedial, i learnt the meaning of a few words & how to answer questions more properly. In the past i wasn't so sure about how to go about answering them. Now.. I'm okay i guess. Needs more practice. Yesterday's literal, next week's inferential.

Did summary during english lesson today. To others, summary is something which pull their marks up. But not to me. That's a huge disadvantage. No matter how much effort i put in, i still can't get it right. The summary i did today, i got about, 5 points? Ahh. I am worried.

Not only about english, but other subjects too. Humanities is not for me. But, i should still study. Amaths, i'm worried that mrs see will rush through the syllabus. Physics & Chem test next week.

I've never been so stressed up over studies. It's really the time to start studying now.

It's not easy, but i will do it. Watch me.